I vividly remember how it all started some years ago, during Christmas Eve; I never knew that I would meet someone who was going to change my life. When I first saw him standing in the queue, I never bothered much about him until I reached the parking lot after shopping when we started conversing. He helped me put my Christmas shopping in the car, and I thanked him for the good gesture. I did not know that my grandfather had invited him the next day as one of our family friends. My grandfather was surprised to know that we already knew each other because he wanted to introduce me to him. I was not bothered by his presence, but what touched me was his young daughter who seems to be well mannered and curious to know everything.
The young girl made my evening that day because I learned a lot from her. With time, I got fond of her. I had to see her father more often, but I never thought I would date a divorced man. Things unfolded and the next thing I knew that we were going on numerous dates. I found out more about him, and I felt sorry for what he had gone through. Things went on as we had planned until the day we announced our engagement to the whole family. Things started changing for the worse; he got involved in his work, which I did not understand why. We no longer went out on frequent dates as we used to the every weekend he had to meet with his business partners and I was always left alone the whole weekend.
One day I decided to inquire about our future and what plans he had, he was hesitant to answer back. Instead, he avoided such questions by changing the subject. I made up my mind and called him to inform him that I could no longer continue with the relationship unless he gave me a clear answer to my question. This is the day I will never forget because that conversation left me more confused than I was. He informed me that he was not ready to commit to another person yet after going through a messy divorce. He felt that he needed more time to analyze his feelings for me before making the final decision.
As days passed, I thanked him for being honest with me, but I would never forget the stress he gave me when he failed to answer my questions. I thought may he never love me, or maybe I was not good enough for him. Even though falling in love for the first time was great, there were sad moments in my life that made me regret. We had planned to get married and spend our lives together only to realize that I put more love and feelings than I received. At one point when we were together, I felt sadder than being happy because we had a lot of misunderstands and we rarely communicated with each other many times.
I called it a sad love because I used to cry myself to sleep not knowing what to do or what to say to him. He never gave me his time, with time I realized that I could not hold on to this stressful life that is why I confronted him only to be shocked to learn that he was not ready to make any commitments. I have come to realize that I need to find someone who can love me more and can make me a happy instead of being sad.
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